Hey everyone. So, it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything. Things have been hectic. For the first time since Leah went off to do her bakery thang, things have gotten tough. We’ve discovered that success doesn’t go hand-in-hand with making money. People love Leah’s goods, but we’re just not selling much. The last month and a half, we’ve been more broke than we have been in the history of our relationship. It’s been a tough adjustment. We’ve never eaten at home so many days in a row. Honestly, McDonald’s has been our biggest splurge in the last 40 days. Yesterday we sold some furniture and finally decided that our ongoing craving for Chinese food had to be sated. I stand by that decision fully.
We’ve found that because we lack money, we don’t leave the house. On top of that, we don’t sleep. Not out of worry, we’re just really broken. I’ve always been a night owl. I catch a second wind around 11:30 every night no matter what, but when Leah and I had to get up to work together, she kept that shit in check. We were in bed by 12:30 every night, and we were up the next morning. Leah doesn’t have to get up early anymore.
In the last two weeks, Leah has decided she’s stopped caring when she goes to bed. Because of this, I have come across a discovery: Nothing inside of me tells me to go to bed early. 1:30am is the earliest I’ve gone to bed all week. Usually sleep comes somewhere between 2-3:30. Then I get up for work at 8:30. I keep figuring that I’ll be tired enough that I’ll sleep like a normal person that night… but no. I just don’t get tired. I’ve not had more than 6 hours of sleep on a work night in the last two weeks, and I seem to be getting by fine. I’m not sure what to make of this discovery. I think it might mean I’m invincible, but I’m not sure. I have further tests to run. (Fun fact! Last Saturday Leah had to deliver a pie at 6:30am. We opted to stay up all night instead of getting up early. We went to bed at 7am, but I could’ve stayed up longer. We slept until 2pm.)
Because of the lack of money and the general sense of ennui following that, and our ridiculously effed up sleep cycle… we haven’t been to church in a long time. Well, probably a month or so at this point. I think this is the largest contributing factor to my lack of having anything to say… There’s been nothing stirring the pot that is my mind.
Despite all of that… Life has been an interesting dichotomy… Despite all the above weirdness, I’m finding myself beginning to walk down a path of delicious inspiration and applied effort. Last week I met with the Senior VP of the corporation I work for and presented my thoughts on how we could make use of Social Media to be more awesome. It went over surprisingly well. To the point that I think I might soon be promoted from the job I’m at now into a position that I might actually enjoy. I’m not getting my hopes up, but the VP and I really got along well. It seems like a very good thing.
On top of that, the movie I’ve been working on for a while now is really shaping up. I have a sub-plot that consists of an elderly couple, and I can’t figure out what their deal is. They’re important to the story, but I don’t know enough about the elderly to know what it is they would care about or what problems they would have in regards to dealing with each other. If anyone else has any suggestions, I’m all ears. … Well, eyes.
I’m excited about this screenplay. I feel like it has a lot of potential to be a romantic comedy done in a way no one has seen before, and if I can genuinely do it well, I think it could go (and hopefully take me) to some really interesting places. I’m really looking forward to knowing enough about it to get started writing it.
In random news, I find myself doing art again. For like the first time in seven years I’ve started tinkering with Photoshop and Illustrator. In fact, after work today I’m getting paid to teach somebody the basics of photoshop which is kind of amazing. I’d love to do more of that.
On top of all of that, yesterday someone started following my twitter. It wound up being the creator of www.revyved.com. (Revived. I call it Revy-Ved in my head.) It’s a simple little forum where people can show up and talk about Christiany things. Maybe it’s just the timing, but it really struck me as something neat. Right now it’s brand new and just getting started, so it’s a good time to get in at the ground floor if it’s something you might be interested in. (I have a hard time getting into established forums.) Regardless, I find myself thinking about all the things it could be, and what shape it could take on given some time… I don’t know, it may be nothing but I’m finding an awful lot of thoughts going through my head regarding everything it could become.
Anyhoo… It feels like things are afoot. Good things. I’ve never admitted this publicly, but I’ve become a huge fan of Kevin Smith, the portly director. Aside from Dogma, I’m not a huge fan of his movies, but I love what he’s been doing of late. He’s decided he’s done making movies and has moved on to creating an entire internet network filled with various kinds of content. I’ve watched the journey that got him where he is right now, and it’s been really exciting. More and more I find myself looking to him as role-model when it comes to keeping 1000 plates in the air at a time for the express purpose of generating content and creating something for people to consume.
I want to do something similar, I think but based on the notion of opening people’s eyes to the world and the truth around them. I want to do a thousand different things that all seem unrelated unless you can discern the thread of helping people find their way back to God. Art, blogs, podcasts, technology, conversation, ideas, performance, theater, movies, books… I want to do all of these things.
This desire has always lived inside of me. Historically, it’s meant I am unable to focus on anything to completion. I start a thousand little projects and never finish them. For the first time ever, I’m starting to feel like these desires have been put inside of me for a purpose. That there’s a reason to them. For the first time, I feel like maybe, just maybe I’m at a place in my life in which I can begin to actually start seeing these things through. That after 27 years of stewing in my heart and mind and soul that maybe they’re done. They’re ready to start coming out and being shown to the world. I don’t know. At this moment right now I feel supremely inspired to do something bigger than myself, and I have no clue how. But I have no doubt that if this is what has been written into my soul, then I can make it happen.
Something good is on the way. I feel like I’m on the brink of becoming whatever it is that I was supposed to have been all along.