It’s Monday night at 9:22pm and I am working on a post that will be available first thing tomorrow morning. I had a post written, and I was going to publish it, but the fact of the matter is that despite having a beginning, middle, and end, it just wasn’t complete. When it came time to decide what I was going to write about tonight, I realized I’ve got nothing in particular on my mind. I tried to write about community, but I have yet to master the art of writing passionately when everything inside me just wants to watch more Dexter. (The fact that I’m making myself write at all is a drastic improvement over my old method of only writing when I felt like it then being surprised when I realized it had been three months since I posted something.)
Fortunately, I’ve been playing the Introspective Christian game long enough that I have come to recognize this apathy for what it is: The result of existing without consuming anything spiritually challenging. Despite the fact that I’ve been a good little do-be so far when it comes to my weekly posts, I haven’t actually written anything in my journal in weeks… Maybe months. The way I work, is I need to be confronted with some kind of spiritual game-changing truth relatively frequently. I will then consider this truth from a multitude of angles, draw my conclusions, and then share them with whoever will lend me their eyeballs.
The means by which this spiritual truth is discovered varies considerably. My favorite method is when God drop-kicks me over the Field Goal of Epiphany. Unfortunately for me, God refuses to be contained in a formula and I have yet to make this happen with any consistency of my own volition. For a while I was a big book reader. I devoured the books you’d find in the “Christian Living” section. Years ago, however, a switch went off and I suddenly started feeling that the majority of the books in that section were trite, shallow attempts by Christian Publishers to line their pockets with the money of the gullible. I’ve had a very hard time finding a book that is actually as life-changing as the cover claims it to be. Finally, there’s church of course. When I was at Bible College we had chapel three times a week. More times than not, it was awful, but just being there forced me to consider why I hated it so much so there was still growth to be found. Now that I’m what you might call a “grown-up” and church only happens once a week, you’d think it would be easier to show up. Not so. For various reasons I’ve not been able to make it to church hardly at all this summer. That, combined with the fact that the small group I’m attending is on hiatus, has left me spiritually impoverished.
Clearly, it’s no wonder why the ol’ think tank is running on empty. I need to do something about it. I’ve got some plans in the works, but in the mean time, I could use some opinions, dear readers… Where do you hunt for Spiritual meat?