by David Draper
I’ve got an awesome stereo. It’s got heavy bass and popping treble. All of my favorite songs have been loaded in and it’s always on shuffle. It never fails to find the right song for the moment and open my ears to hear what I’ve been avoiding hearing. Whether it’s a soft, smooth song before I go to sleep or high paced rock when I wake up, the rhythm always falls into place.
There are times though, that it plays some inane 90′s pop hit and puts it on repeat. It loops over and over and over until I’m ready to carve out my eardrums in hopes of silencing it. Unfortunately, there is no power button and the skip button only works on occasion. I try to sing something else but sooner or later, the stereo always wins. Then you catch me dancing to Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name” or tapping my feet to Hanson’s “Mmmbop”. I’d put in ear plugs if they could help me… but it’s all in my head.
I’ve tried to discipline my mind over and over. There are times when I’ve succeeded if only for a little while. Still, more often than not, it does what it wants. There’s a proverbial theme park of activity in my head and it gets noisy in here. I try to find God amidst it all, and I’m rarely successful. He’s always tucked in some quiet corner on an old arm chair speaking intimate things in whispers. It’s romantic and all, but I can’t focus on that with Hootie & The Blowfish playing. I come out every time singing to myself, “I only wanna be with youuuuuuuu”.
I wish God would yell. I wish he’d put those intimate whispers to syncopated rhythm with punctuated hooks. I wish he’d do something to get them stuck in my head like a 90′s song. I guess that’s just not his style. It seems like God doesn’t put much stock in billboards or pop singles. I think I might be glad for that. A world with no whispers may be a world absent of holy things.
I’m going to invest in earplugs and early mornings. I’m going to sneak out of the house before the stereo starts playing and whisper with God. I’m going to wake before the world and revel in the quiet air. I’m going to find time for soft-spoken truths. The sun will be coming up soon. I’m going to go wait and see if it will join the conversation or turn up the music.
David Draper • 25| American| living in SA| Working in ministry|
Conspiring with God to upset the established order|
Inciting nostalgic inspiration| writing| fasting| feasting |