by Jeremy Bacher
I have recently been exposed to a miracle. Sometimes I struggle with how scientifically my mind works. Even the first sentence of this reads all wrong to those whose faith is stronger than mine. Instead of praising God for blessing two of my best friends with a child when the medical community had written off the possibility of natural conception, I state matter of factly and still somehow skeptically that I have been exposed to a miracle. The doubt lingers, it always lingers.
I know that when I say something it comes across as very certain, almost always. Those who know me best know that in my certainty there is a high probability that at some point I will completely change my former assertion and wholeheartedly proclaim the opposite assertion from the rooftops. I have been this way for a very long time.
… back to the miracle. It is not easy for me to see and understand in my mind that the conception of this child is a miracle from the hand of God. Instead I want to delve into the probability aspect of it. I won’t divulge all the personal and medical information related but suffice to say that the probability was very low. When should I start looking at probability with same critical eye with which I look at miracles? If there is a less than 1% probability that a baby could be conceived naturally, and then it is conceived, isn’t it conceivable that it was miraculously conceived? Maybe? My faith is so weak.
I know at least a couple reasons as to why it is so difficult for me to believe in miracles. I do not truly expose myself to the Word of God often enough. I don’t let myself take part in the redemptive story of Jesus often enough. It is difficult to explain redemption without sounding preachy and old fashioned. I have found though, that I am most connected to God when I experience a redemptive story. My heart, brain, and body well up with a feeling that I would not call an emotion but rather, a connection. When I see other people experience redemption, when they have been in living in despair, emptiness, depression, and that feeling of numbness that plagues our generation, my spirit cries out in rememberance. I feel like that connection I experience is directly related to faith aspects in the rest of my life.
I know that my faith is going to continue to be challenged the further into life I move forward, so I guess what I take away from this is that its good to know of something that I feel like actively strengthens it.
|Jeremy Bacher is a 26 year old perpetual student who has a passion for coffee, food, beer, and all things delicious and complex. While finishing up his undergrad work in political science, with a focus on political philosophy at the University of Illinois – Springfield he is pursuing management in a corporate coffee setting while enjoying the intricacies of marriage and life. @chewbacher|